Okay, I just figured that I don’t have a list! “A list” that inspires me to tell a story. But I don’t want to be discouraged. I still have a lot of other normal rugged things in life that inspire me to the core. So, what is it that inspires me? The beauty tucked inside a rough, bare and authentic incident that is lived out by a real person who has blood and veins running through his body or just the beauty of the words woven so simply by those who use them eloquently in sharing their stories. Why does it draw me? Why does it motivate me? I am not sure if I can give you a simple one liner answer to that question. But I definitely believe that they have the power of transforming my perspective, my view into something more honest and genuine. That helps me thrive forward and shift my focus into directions that have more definition. I don’t want to sound or live like a person who has lost everything in life (although, that is the reality). I have dealt with it and now I am over it. I have a bigger purpose and a larger life to live out. I don’t deny a single thing that has actually occurred in my life. I accept it; I own it. Yes, I was ignorant or even stupid or even what in the world did you think kind of a human. My answer to all that is, I simply did not think and I wasn’t aware. Let’s not get there now. I am more focused and progressive than I was ever before in my 32 years of life. Yes, at first I thought I lost a lot of time, but then I found out that it’s not really true! If anything, the time has just begun! There is so much confidence in finding out the truth and operating from a state of awareness, which is a positive thing. You are more empowered to reform yourself into an essential being. Now, let me not digress from where I started. Wait, I just realized that I dint really start with a topic.
I just wanted to write. I just wanted to give words to my thoughts. I just wanted to understand myself. I have come to know that it’s very helpful to capture your honest thoughts and make them sit on a white paper and get some clarity. For lack of such clarity, I have made poor choices in the past. This morning, I saw a TED talk on “Start with Why”. Wasn’t that an incredible talk! And yet, it is insanely simple. I was honestly wondering if this guy is serious that not many people get it. At least, I was happy to realize that I have been one of those who try to find my why even in small or big. I barely focus on what and how, because I know they will fall in place once I am pretty sure about “my why”. I have never wanted to do things for the heck of doing them. I have always believed in intentionality, although my choices are sometimes unconventional. I have to have my heart tagged to the things that I believe in and in the things I do, although sometimes my priorities do take a shift. I know it becomes foggy and have repercussions. But this time, I want to do it different. I want my base set right. My truth and integrity rooted in the light of the Lord, My God. I want to be part of something bigger than myself. I want to live for transcendence in what I think, desire, say and do.
So what now? The right-brainer in me struggles to come up with a list because I can’t stop at number 10 or even 15. I have ideas that are broad and points that are endless. I can’t count on the topics to pick and fix on the items to choose from. I like to play in the waves of my dreams and swing in the tunes of my thoughts. I am only starting to realize how hard it is for a person who is right-brained to live like a left brainer. There is nothing wrong in that. The lifestyle I chose and the priorities I have demand that kind of a constant negotiation. Not everyone belongs to the same genre. I am who I am and you are who you are. I need to follow myself. One Size Does NOT Fit All in reality. So, a person like me does need a nudge now and then, when I get lost in my thoughts just drinking a simple coffee or even when that one song hangs on playing in the loop. I guess, I can use some of my left brain to bring back my “me” into my body and push it forward.
So, “my why”? I write because I really want to talk to myself. I write because it inspires me to become a better person. I write because it’s cathartic and helps me to express my strong emotions. I write because I want to remember. I write because I love to communicate. And of course, put it out there(here) to see if there is anyone who agrees with me (don’t tell me that doesn’t boost your psyche). My all-time lifestyle statement that I have lived by and still believe in living by is, “Don’t do things to impress people but choose to do things that are impressive” (Well, who did not fail at least once huh?!) I do this for myself. I don’t think there is any greater motivation in a person’s life than doing anything for themselves. There is power and authenticity when its done for oneself. Yea, it’s a different story if you are like me who give yourself to a lot of things. But, I can now safely say that after seeing the rock-bottoms, valleys and pits in life by 32, I am in a better place to give myself to only things that honestly matter to me and My Master.