Is it ok to be exhausted?
Frailties are part of our human DNA. But none of us wants to embrace them entirely because we fear not being fully accepted or coming short of other’s idea of what one should be or not be. Leave alone others, sometimes we fall into that trap with ourselves. We rejoice in the idea of being right, perfect and excellent so much so, that it has become a trend to show-case that in every spectrum of our life for a long time now. Nothing wrong in seeking the right things but the relentless pursuit after the idea of perfection has left most of us with finding ways to only project that and seek worth and value from what we show than what we are. Sadly, we seek that from another equally frail human who appears not to be so.
I won’t deny that things are mightily changing in the aspects of not projecting perfection in any form (vanity or otherwise) as the ultimate glory but it has not quite inhabited our culture yet. (Did you watch Colbie Caillat’s Try? – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GXoZLPSw8U8).
We feel safe, secure and worthy to belong to the tribe who pretends to be perfect. But what we feel is often not the truth. To identify that, every woman needs to have some clarity for herself.
It greatly helps if a woman can become her own friend first, so that she can reach in than reach out for every nickel and dime of emotional need. Agree it or not, that spectrum is more real than any other need. But I choose not be a propagator of doing life alone. So, we need that handful bunch of real women who are gracious enough to counsel you; courageous enough to confront you and fierce enough to protect you. We need each other to build those strong spheres around. If we are stupid enough, we find ourselves repeatedly choosing the ones who secretly take delight in our plight.
One of my top-of-the-list unlikeable games is, we all know that game…the one where everyone else’s grass looks greener? The comparison game is all-consuming, exhausting and is the enemy of peace and contentment. We need to free ourselves not to get into that game at all and if by any chance we end up there, we need to give ourselves permission to pull away from it.
Also, we should do ourselves a favor to be real and authentic. It’s more exhilarating than anything we could imagine. It might not be pretty to others for a season but that’s okay. The worst that could happen is, we could lose more women in our row and that’s alright. Shouldn’t they not be there in the row anyway? Our value absolutely doesn’t come from what another confused woman thinks about us. Once she is free from being full of herself she has no choice but to see us for who we are.
So we should keep it cool!
And I think this womanhood almost boils down to some hard questions like –
Are you a woman who can dance away on her “girls night-outs” or a woman who can give up her nights for a girl who is having sleep-less nights?
Are you a woman who is glorified in self-righteousness and acts out of spite with another struggling girl or a woman who stands by the one who is afflicted with sound counsel?
Are you a woman who takes the easy route to avoid conflict or a woman who marches in to address what really matters?
Are you a woman who can transport the facts as they are or a woman who takes great joy in adding your taint?
Are you a woman who takes pride in your looks or style or a woman who adores the simple?
Are you a woman who tries to fit in with a bunch of odds or a woman who knows your place of respect?
Are you a woman who is content with who you are or a woman who is ever-needy of validation?
Are you a woman who gains pleasure in foul-mouthing or a woman who shuts it down?
Are you a woman who really cares for the goodness of another woman or a woman who is very comfortable seeing her downfall?
There could be more “Are you?”s…
But what good does it do to celebrate A Women’s Day when we don’t know how to be who we are at the core of being a woman for another woman?