Even though gratitude is the best attitude to wear every single day, this season and month of Thanksgiving has its own special purpose to remind each one of us to be thankful for all the reasons. And for us to remember, we have to acknowledge first. To acknowledge every single favor and all the grace that has been bestowed on us, we need to have the clarity. The clarity of what we didn’t have and what has been given to us. I call that as “gift”.
Often times, with the materialistic mentality and culture we live in, we are misled to believe that “gift” is usually a thing or item of possession that has to be given on special occasions like birthdays, anniversaries or some sort of celebrations. That’s good. But, I have come to an understanding that the real “gift” is adored more when it’s given in a time, you need the most regardless of any occasion or celebration.
So, like I have been doing, I started to think of all the things that I lacked precisely around this time of last year even before I call out on all the gifts that I have now. It’s overwhelming!
#1, the “gift of healing”– Of all, this ranks at the top. Insurmountable healing in the areas of mental episodes, emotional sickness, spiritual deadness and relational numbness. There has been a great deal of work that went into every area to detect the underlying carcinogenic agents first and then go about amputating some parts, pruning some parts and then applying antidotes to some parts. Quite honestly this process involved most of me and the greater “I Am”. But, how did I get that? I wish I could just fit it all in one post but I can’t. The struggle to deny what I once knew and the wonder in learning what really is real is unexplainable. I think I will save that for another post. But yea, the gift of healing in every area has been so good. It’s relinquishing and regenerating.
#2, the “gift of acceptance” – Yes! Forget about others, I could not accept myself. It took a greater deal of time in understanding the “self-awareness” concept and then the truth that no matter what you have done or what has been done to you, you have a greater “I Am” that could not have loved you any less or any more than what He has already been doing, was beyond my human mindset. Like, its almost unreal. The only words that kept resonating to me over and over and over again were – “you belong”; “you are accepted”; “you are loved”; “you are undone”; “you are mine”. Now, that gave me a heart right off the bat, to simply shut my mouth and just accept myself.
#3, the “gift of hope” – Oh, the hope! How can I even begin to explain the hopelessness I had in that season? It’s one thing to shatter to pieces but it’s entirely another thing to burn into ashes. What hope can you see in ashes? I don’t see any hope in ashes. But, here I am still saying this! So, clearly that means a re-birth has taken place. Yea, i am not kidding. You can be born again when you are dead to your old self or rather had been burned in your old life. Either because you were playing with fire or the fire fell on you. It doesn’t matter! You were the one that was burnt and you were the one who turned into ashes. BUT! You still have the power to choose as long as you are alive.
As I am writing this, I am starting to realize that most of the gifts that I have now, have been given to me by the greater “I Am” and then by myself! Honestly, i was not expecting that kind of revelation. I started to write this up, so i could recognize and appreciate all the wonderful resources, strengths and support that i have been surrounded with, that made me what I am today. But as I ponder upon it more, it really had to start with me trying to make a choice.
On a deeper level, at first I needed the above mentioned gifts to move on to the next set of ones. So, here they are:
#4, the “gift of love”– The love from my core family, the love from the church (that I ran to), the love from the great elders, good friends that I made there, the love from the sweet people who stayed with me, the love from God-sent people into my life was all immense. It was overflowing. I can only say that through all this, the love from the greater “I Am” was strikingly clear. I didn’t need to look elsewhere for love.
#5, the “gift of support” – While, the gift of love is a support in itself, I really needed some core strength that I was lacking. I needed few resources that I could grab onto, when I felt weak and trust me there were a lot of those moments! And there were a lot of times I had to scream with excruciating pain that I couldn’t do this anymore. I didn’t have the urge to give up, but I had to cry out to just get up and get going. I needed someone to breathe into those times with their words of wisdom, truth and encouragement. What a great reserve of amazing, kind and loving women did I have during those times and of course now! And if only, we could use the social media or web in a right way, there are wonderful people to follow on Instagram who really empower you, enlighten you, engage you and entertain you in a healthy way! I needed that. Last but not the least; the messages that were spoken by great and gifted leaders in my church and worldwide through YouTube, podcasts have been so truth-driven, rich, nourishing, fulfilling and propelling. In all this, I have the gift of support of my one and only anchor, the greater “I Am”.
I can go on and on and on but with this I will end –
I was lifted out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire;
My feet are set on a rock that became a firm place for me to stand;
I have a new song in my mouth, a song of praise and Thanksgiving to the greater “I Am”.
Again, it’s not what others perceive of your life that matters! It’s what you know about yourself and your life that matters. We don’t get to that kind of realization and clarity instantly. It will take some time, a lot of learning and engaging your mind. And when you get that, it will only awaken you at a deeper level that you will slumber no more.